By: Robert Hunt
There is one consistent factor that lies at the heart of so many challenges we face in our lives and that is low self esteem. It doesn't even occur to some individuals that the root cause of so many of they're issue's are related to the low self image they have of themselves. The affliction itself is allowed to take root and smolder for years. These individuals blame they're problems on prejudice, abusive relationships, a mean and unfair boss, etc. They compensate by acting aloof, or tough, egotistical or even disengaged. This can manifest into poor relationships, financial difficulties, lack of follow through or commitment or any number of traits that degrade the quality of our lives.
It's much easier to blame outside forces, but in doing so, denies the problem and any potential solutions. Disguising low self esteem as some other visible issue, the problems are never addressed and overcome. But you can count on one thing, whatever challenges arise in our life, you can bet someone else has had it worse than us and has gone on to bigger and better successes.
Ask yourself who is the primary force that shapes your life? Who does the majority of your thinking? Who chooses to think what they wish to think on a daily basis? The answer of course, is you. You shape your life and no one else. So is there anything preventing you from going on to bigger and better things? If others have faced greater external challenges and succeeded, then can outside circumstances determine the course of your life?
Low self esteem in large part is a product of how we were raised. Researchers have found that we come to the predominant view of ourselves by the age of five. By this age, the world is either a safe or dangerous place and we react either positively or negatively. Our parents are the primary shapers at this time but this is also tempered by our experiences in school and our experiences in society as a whole.
Our foundation of thinking is impacted a great deal at an early age and is carried with us into adulthood. By this time, we have accepted our flaws and how we define ourselves, not even thinking that the very flaws we have come to accept as fact, have nothing to do with reality at all. It is just a product of the way we have decided to accept ourselves. But that doesn't mean its true.
I believe we can improve our self esteem by making a genuine effort to focus on a sense of empowerment. We can do this by making a commitment to spend time to understand who we really are as individuals. Really make the commitment. Not an half hearted attempt, or "I don't have time" attempt. Peel the onion of your self and go deeper and deeper to a place that will allow you to realize the power of who you really are.
We have decided to carry this bag around called a "self image". This is the image you have formed about yourself in comparison to those around you. Its nothing more than a judgment you have made about yourself. This self image in most people is probably kind of negative since we usually compare ourselves to someone "better" than us. Look at children who are three, four years old. They have perfect self esteem because they have not formed a self image by that age. They don't judge themselves.
Take stock of your negative inner talk. Most people's self talk is 95% negative. They see the worst in themselves. It is our thoughts and beliefs that shape and produce what we become. The quality of our lives is a direct result of them. Use that negative talk to remind yourself that this is not the path to your higher self. One of the basic keys to success in life is the ability to recognize that many of the challenges manifesting as external problems in our lives are really issue's that are disguised as low self esteem. What do you think?
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