By: Ken Austin
There is no single factor that we can consider as the pool from which low self confidence comes from. In fact, it is the accumulation of mishaps and lacks in the past that we are failing to unearth and give due remedy. It is the outcome of our failure to recognize who we truly are and what are the hampers to our own growth.
Low self confidence is obviously delimiting. It would send us stomping on our endowed capacities and instead, take our failures as early defeats. It would confine is in our comfort zone where everything is safe from potential humiliation and further mistakes. The comfort zones will then make us believe that we must not go out from its four corners because out there, disappointments and losses await.
But even when we tell ourselves how harsh and messed up things may get, we must still not surrender to the inner critic that thrives inside us. We must at all rate, defeat it and show off ourselves to the world.
Low self confidence develops during our childhood. Unfortunately, many of us have parents, teachers, friends and enemies who are keener to our deficiencies than with our talents. They would tell us of our mistakes and kill our inner drives. These may not actually be said direct on our face but their actions and sneers are enough to convince us that we are losers.
Perhaps you live under cold critical eyes that know nothing of imperfection. Or maybe you are the underling of a brother who achieves in school, thus the intense focus on him and frequent disregard for you. Probably people do things for you when they feel like you cant do things on your own.
These are subtle triggering instances that would all contribute to your eventual loss of self confidence.
Because of such poor models and lack of attention given on you, you would soon find that you are really incapable of doing things when in fact you have gifts beyond your own reckoning.
Your belief on their beliefs would then send you blaming yourselves for all your failures. And at times, you would even convince yourself that you are also responsible for the failures of those people you have close contact with.
As a child, sweeping statements will be a commonplace for you. You will convince yourself of how stupid you are even without the reinforcement that comes from the warped people surrounding you.
And as the process goes on, you would learn to ignore the blind negative accusations that other people throw at you. And to add up more miseries on your already-piled up problems, you would learn to accept that there is nothing more to life but defeats and failures.
You faith in yourself by now is much too weakened. Therefore, you would not try to resolve your conflict on sense of self and would not dare plan how to get around this self-tormenting course of life. Solutions and helpful people would come to you though. However, your reactions would either be to push them away or totally disregard them.
Continue at this phase and you would soon discover that salvation from low self confidence is presenting itself to you but you are all too muddled in your own world that it would be way to impossible to cure the problem. Unless, a life changing miracle would cross your way.