By: Ken Austin
Everything has to start somewhere. Unless you start revamping your self confidence, you will have to agonize endlessly with the very thing you are fearful of- low self confidence.
Our self confidence is the accumulation of all our reactions to the experiences that life brought us, the manner by which we were guided by the older people in our environment and how we and the society view us. Many factors are contributors to our personal understanding of confidence.
One determining factor is how well we expect ourselves and the circumstances of our lives should be. Many tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations. In the process, their losses are becoming too painful that they eventually suffer the effects of creating lower self confidence.
Others, on the other hand, lean more on playing safe and thus create more achievable goals that are easier to attain. And because achievements add largely to the development of self confidence, these people benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing something.
You may already have heard the phrase- "its all in the mind". And to many psychological and emotional conditions, we can actually say that everything is all in the mind. They rooted and develop from the mind and so, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don't want. You can suppress emotions and in the process, help emotions materialize. Say you want to feel hatred of yourself over not being good enough. If you make yourself believe in that hatred and you truly are convinced that you are not good enough, you will only get two products- one, genuine hatred and two, lower self esteem.
The majority of us are caught unaware with our words. We sometimes fail to check ourselves of the things we are registering in our subconscious mind.
You may not have deliberately said it recently but since you are used to hearing yourself mumble- "I am a looser", or "I'm not worthy of anything", your subconscious self might as well believe that these are the facts.
Even now as we speak, many out there believe in these statements.
They are not mere words. They are for real and they will actually dig deep in your subconscious mind, which will then be integrated into your being. If you believe in these then there is no way that you won't believe in their direct opposite.
Central to building self confidence is one's belief in himself. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. Thus, you only have to manipulate the values that you would like to acquire. Otherwise, no amount of waiting can make you change. The motivation must come from you. Suggestions may come from outward sources but in the end, it will be you and yourself that will set out to do the battle.
Changes must begin from you. You may start with talking to yourself using positive statements like "you are great" (for you truly are a great individual waiting for your talents to be tapped). Or "you are beautiful" (because believe in this or not each one of us were created beautifully to give glory to our Maker).
You cant stay long in your madness over having low self confidence. Somehow, you have to change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.