By: Aaron Potts
Do you think it's possible that fear could be the primary factor in determining whether or not you succeed in any given endeavor?
I submit to you that it is not only a possibility, but a probability. It may seem like there are more "traditional" road blocks in your way, but that is very often merely an appearance, and not the actual reason why people fail to attain their dreams.
One of the reasons why fear is not seen as the culprit is because we tend to think of fear in terms of being afraid to fail at something. However, fear of SUCCESS is often just as much of a factor, if not more so.
Let's look at a few examples in order to illustrate this point:
When it comes to losing weight or getting in shape, are you afraid of failure, or are you afraid of success?
The fear of failure seems fairly evident. You are afraid that you will not succeed because you have tried many times in the past but still haven't seen the results that you are looking for. You may also be afraid of not having the proper training or supervision in order to effectively create health improvements, or you may be afraid that you are going to get hurt.
Those are all common concerns when it comes to physical fitness, but what about being afraid of what succeeding would actually mean to you? You would have to exercise on a daily basis, maybe even every day. You would have to eat healthy foods, and very carefully monitor the type and amounts of foods that you ingest each day. Every day you would have to dedicate an hour or more of your time to exercising and preparing healthy foods. You would have to be dedicated to your fitness program over the long-term, and stick to that program.
That sounds like an awful lot of work, and not very much play! In fact, success in your attempts to lose weight or improve your health sound very much like something that you might even be afraid to try, for fear of having to give up on the things that you enjoy doing.
Fear of Success at its finest!
What about financial independence? Do you think it is possible that fear of Success might play a factor in that part of your life?
Most people are afraid of failure in this regard because of traditional reasons; their job doesn't pay enough, they have too many bills to ever save any significant amount of money, they don't have enough time to bring in extra income, etc.
Once again, those might be valid concerns, but what about being afraid to succeed? If you were financially successful, you would gain a lot of responsibilities! Paying a lot of money in taxes is certainly on the list of things that might be afraid of. Managing whatever successful business endeavor that allowed you to become successful could also be causing you some anxiety about succeeding financially. Leaving the "comfort zone" that you have known all of your life is definitely scary! You may be broke right now, but at least you know where you stand, right?
Once again, fear of having to actually do what it takes to Succeed could be keeping you from making an honest effort to have the money that you think you want so very badly!
And finally, let's talk about relationships. Who hasn't been afraid of the potential outcome of a relationship at some point in their life?
On one hand, the fear of failure is definitely there. You are afraid that the "one" person for you simply doesn't exist. You may be afraid that you will be rejected because you aren't attractive, successful, or entertaining enough. Maybe you are afraid that no one will want you because you have a disability, children from a previous marriage, or maybe you have a chronic condition that you feel makes other people stay away.
Some powerful fears there to be sure, but let's look at the fear of actually Succeeding in a long-term relationship:
You may be afraid of "settling down" with one person and giving up the freedom to date others or to spend time with people that you are interested in. You may be afraid that you will have to be responsible on a daily basis once you start interacting frequently with another person, or with that person's children.
For that matter, you may be afraid that you will have to give up some of the attention that you get from your own children, or that you may have to share responsibility for them with someone else. You may be afraid to get into a long-term relationship because you'll have to start keeping your significant other informed about what you do, and when you'll be home.
Whether you are talking about a fear of successful health or weight loss, being afraid to actually make the kind of money that you want to make, or simply being scared about the possible outcome of a truly successful long-term relationship, one thing is very clear - YOU need to get clear!
If you don't get clear of the fears that are keeping you from being successful, then guess what? You never will be! Your fears will keep you exactly where you are right now in your life, and 30 or 40 years from now, you will still not have any of the things that you were too afraid to successfully pursue.
Don't let fear keep you down - whether it is the fear of failure or the fear of Success. Decide what you want, and then go out there and make it happen. In the end, you'll be glad that you did!